The Art of Forgiveness

When someone has wronged you, when you have been treated badly and unfairly, lied to and manipulated, the most foreign thing to do it to forgive and forget. But forgiveness is possible and it is necessary for your physical and mental health.

"People who forgive show less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness," says Frederic Luskin, "So it can help save on the wear and tear on our organs, reduce the wearing out of the immune system and allow people to feel more vital."

So how do you forgive and forget?

1. Calm yourself. To defuse your anger, try a simple stress-management technique. Take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, someone you love.

2. Do not wait for an apology. The other person may not have meant to have hurt you, they may see things differently to you or they may have meant to hurt you on purpose. Whatever the case. they are probably not going to apologize first. Forgiving somebody does not mean that you are going to be the best of friends again, but it does mean that you release them in your heart and you do not hold any resentment against them.

3. Recognize the benefits of forgiveness. Research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better appetite and better sleep patterns. If you are unaware of the distress that bitterness and resentment toward somebody else can have, then you will never realize the importance of forgiving and letting go.

4. Do not forget to forgive yourself. For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge, but it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don''t do it. Do not blame yourself.